When I purchased my first home, I had big ideas. I wanted my home to be inviting, beautiful, safe, and comfortable. It was a simple ranch style home in Abilene, TX. Not too big. Not too small. The house ( and its storage space) was just the right size. Or so I thought. Until the filling began.
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When we have space, we’re likely to fill the space.
Slowly, the excess snuck in. Ok, I brought it in. The shelves in our pantry became filled to capacity. Our bedroom closets were brimming with clothing and other items that required out of sight storage. The built-in shelves in the living room were quickly filled with decorative items, and soon there was decorative furniture to fill in nearly all space that was not required as a pathway. This was just the beginning of setting up our home.
We need a lot less stuff than we think to live a happy and fulfilling life.
As the demands of managing our stuff, moving in the military, and becoming a mother unfolded, so did my big ideas and sanity. Seven years ago with a 5 and 3-year old, I had that “what on earth am I doing with all of these things?!” moment. Or, if I’m honest, it was more like “Why in the hell do you have all of this stuff, you’re an idiot!”. (Please don’t call yourself an idiot. You’re not.) We do the best we can until we know different, right? From that point on, I’ve worked hard to reduce the clutter and noise that is a distraction to living our best life.
Just because we have the space, doesn’t mean we should fill it.
Recently, a repairman arrived at my house. He came to fix a hole in my bedroom ceiling that was damaged when they replaced our roof. As we walked through my house, I noticed him looking around more than the typical guest. “Would you like some water,” I asked him. “Sure, that would be great.” We continued talking as I reached for a glass. But Instead of looking at me he turned his eyes to the opened cupboard, and he took what seemed like a long look. Was there something scary in there? Did he like the color of cabinets? Did he want to choose a specific cup to use?
Note: I think there were about seven cups in the dishwasher when I took this photo.
Sometimes things aren’t what we think.
We made our way to the bedroom with the hole in the ceiling. As he began working, we talked about life, kids (and their toys!), and busyness! He was an outgoing, chatty man. About 10 minutes into the conversation he paused for a moment. He had a question. I was sure it was going to be about my home. It was.
“Umm…So are you moving?” he asked with hesitation. His tone and body language implied he was concerned I’d feel insulted. I mean, who wants to be asked such a question with no packing boxes in sight? Isn’t that usually a bad thing?
I smiled, “No, I’m not… I’m a less-is-more kind of person. I don’t like feeling stuffocated. You know…the feeling of being suffocated by stuff? Plus, one under-appreciated benefit of minimalism I love is the ability to walk confidently through my bedroom with the lights off!” — Joshua Becker in The Minimalist Home. He laughed, “Oh I know just what you mean!”.
He asked me question after question. How long had I lived this way? How did I get my kids to give some of their stuff away? Do other people ever ask me if I’m moving (the answer is yes!)? By this time, he was finishing up the repair, and it was almost time for him to go. So I handed him a copy of Minimalism for Families (my affiliate link <3) and ensured him, “It’s ok to stop filling all the spaces.”
It’s ok to stop filling all your space.
If you love the idea of more freedom from stuff, here are some perspective changes to help you experience this in your own home.
1. Just because you have space doesn’t mean you should fill it. Having an empty space is better than filling it with clutter. And by clutter, I mean anything that doesn’t serve a positive role in supporting your priorities.
2. The best time to declutter your home was yesterday. The second best time is now. No sense in wallowing in guilt and regret. Now is a great time to move on.
3. You can be abundantly hospitable without the abundance of stuff. You don’t need a different dish for every possible occasion. If you need nice things to impress your friends, maybe you need new friends perhaps you should reevaluate your perspective. Is it possible we’ve believed we need nice things to impress our friends when they don’t feel that way themselves? It doesn’t matter what everyone else is filling their homes with. Be true to yourself.
4. Possessions don’t make our house a home. People do.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t purchase that fluffy pillow or a couch for your people to sit. I’m just saying we should ask ourselves which possessions will help us thrive with the people we love.
Home is where the heart is, not where our stuff is. Let’s not spend so much time and energy acquiring and possessing that we neglect what we’ll wish we had more of — Laughter, joy, love, and healthy relationships with the people we love.
Changing directions in life can feel downright uncomfortable. And simplicity isn’t always straightforward. I don’t think it ever is. But it is worth it! As you declutter, and empty spaces arise, give yourself permission to leave them empty. If there isn’t something that adds value, (not just a spot filler), then the value is in the empty space.
It’s ok to stop filling all your space.
Ready to kick-start your decluttering efforts? Registration for the Uncluttered course has begun! Registration closes Sunday, October 13—so don’t wait if you want to join us. Be sure to sign up with my friends and family discount (use code FF25 at checkout for 25% off!) through my affiliate link. Also, you can read how the Uncluttered course has changed lives! It is amaaaazing!
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**This article contains Amazon affiliate links, which means Raising Simple makes a small commission if you decide to register. All opinions are my own. I’m thankful to share this message with you!